Zombie Research Society
People often ask us whether a “zombie virus” actually exists. Of course, it doesn’t… at least not yet. Scientists would have to combine a number of different diseases, pathogens, and viruses to even come close; and most of these deadly bugs don’t play well together. They’re simply not designed to be compatible. However, according to a research paper published last week by Cell, we now have evidence that the viruses themselves have evolved. Some phages have even learned to work together, ultimately defeating the natural defenses of our DNA!
Edze Westra and Stineke van Houte at the University of Exeter have discovered that certain viruses, known as bacteriophages, have developed new ways of outmaneuvering the CRISPR system, which is basically our bacterium’s best line of defense against foreign DNA. To put it simply; they’ve learned how sacrificing themselves will allow others to achieve victory.
…Acr-phages often need to cooperate in order to overcome CRISPR resistance, with a first phage blocking the host CRISPR-Cas immune system to allow a second Acr-phage to successfully replicate. This cooperation leads to epidemiological tipping points in which the initial density of Acr-phage tips the balance from phage extinction to a phage epidemic.
That’s some heady stuff, so be sure to read it again paying special attention to their last point; one of the simplest biological entities is now able to employ a sophisticated military strategy of retreating, evolving, and eventually overwhelming its enemy. Obviously it’s all just clinical research at this point, but God help us if we ever encounter a perfect storm of deadly viruses that suddenly decide to cooperate, collaborate, and work together. The possibility of such an apocalyptic event is too much for any respectable zombie researcher to simply ignore!
Just imagine gangrene wearing down our immune system to clear the way for Ebola or rabies, maybe throw in mad cow disease, swine flu, or some deadly variation thereof; all purposefully holding back their worst elements to allow the other to take hold. Gross rotting flesh, violent tendencies, memory loss; it certainly seems like the perfect recipe for a zombie apocalypse.
Some may say that this is hyperbole and the science is improbable, even impossible. But it’s our job to think outside the box, and history itself has a nasty habit of throwing the scientific community a curve-ball every once in awhile. So we recommend that you read the original research paper online available via Cell, or check out this detailed article by The Economist, for more information… after all, what you don’t know can eat you!
Chlorine is a trace element that is present in the human body. Chlorine is also a trace element found in the nutrients that trees need. Swimming in pools of chlorine that is used to keep the pool clean can cause irreversible mutagenic damage to the DNA of humans. If a human were to encounter irreversible mutagenic damage to their DNA because of prolonged exposure to chlorine it could lead to a virus mutating in the human body. The virus might be able to control levels of chlorine in the human body to then break down the human DNA to use what it needs to build its own complex viral structure that would know the processes involved with how the human brain thinks in order to control the host. Much like the Emerald Cockroach Wasp is able to precisely pinpoint the exact location in the cockroaches brain in order to paralyze it without ever having studied the cockroach like the scientist would study a virus.
Trees could also factor into a viral outbreak or help conceal parts of the virus that the virus hiding in the human body would need. Once a tree has too much chlorine in its system it could release a toxin that would have the 2nd half of the virus DNA needed that would then be breathed in by humans to complete the cycle.
Using the tree as a vector of delivery for the virus would be the easiest method for a virus to infect every single living thing above the surface of the water on Earth.