SUPERBUGS, FAKE BOOBS & ZOMBIES

Providing yet another sign that the human race is doing everything it can to speed up the arrival of the coming zombie plague, researchers in England discovered a new kind of superbug living inside the artificially enhanced breasts, butts and noses of plastic surgery patients.  The deadly bug that originated in South Asia is resistant to nearly all antibiotics, and is expected to spread across the entire planet before too long.

The offending agent is actually a gene known as NDM-1, and is unique because it can jump across different species of bacteria and is virtually untreatable.

“The new NDM-1 bacteria are resistant even to carbapenems, a group of antibiotics often reserved as a last resort for emergency treatment for multi-drug resistant bugs.”

Experts suggest that the proliferation of these superbugs could become a catastrophic global public health crisis, as the NDM-1 gene fuses with other deadly bacteria, or even new pathogens that have yet to be identified.

If the undead sickness is caused by a bacterial agent that can be treated through modern medicine, the introduction of this newly discovered gene would turn a small and controllable outbreak into a global zombie pandemic that threatens the very survival of the human race.

Hope those fake boobs were worth it.