Zombie Research Society
Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) is a seemingly inexplicable global honeybee epidemic that was first discovered in 2006. Baffled scientists have blamed everything from tiny mites to malnutrition for the distressing phenomenon, but a new study 
suggests that radiation from cell phones could be the cause.
Reporter Salvitore Cardoni explains:
“According to scientists at Chandigarh’s Punjab University, radiation emitted from cellular telephones is causing bees’ navigational abilities to go haywire.”
The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that over 25 percent of our food supply comes from plants pollinated by honeybees. If CCD continues to spread, it could spell the end of nutritional staples like apples, nuts, celery, and strawberries, and lead to a catastrophic global food shortage.
From a zombie research perspective, the unforeseen impact that modern technology is having on the earth and its inhabitants is alarming to say the least. Strange disease mutations, hybrid viruses, and contagions that were the stuff of science fiction just a few decades ago are now commonplace.
In our quest for advancement, it seems only a matter of time before we unlock one too many doors, allowing the waiting undead to hungrily charge through from the other side.
Why is it that everybody assumes that if a Zombie Apocalypse were to occur, it would be “spread” via one form or another, weather it be virally, infectiously, or by bacteria? One day, every single cellphone on the planet will ring, all at the same time. A large majority of of them will be answered. At that moment, an E.M.F wave with a specific series wavelengths will shut down the cerebral cortex, thusly leaving only the medulla oblongata functional, rendering you a “Zombie”
Goggle.
Sounds like the premise of the film “The Signal”, except that came through televisions.
In a very vague sense, yes. Although the film had nothing to do with zombies all, nor did it refer to anybody having the “Crazies” as zombies, or acting zombie-like in anyway.
The implementation of such technology is relativity simple small scale, but due to it’s exponential power growth requirements, getting global coverage would require almost unfathomable amounts of energy in order to be viable. Regardless, they already have a facility built – HAARP, in Northern Alaska.
Pfft, I always knew Apple was crap. No one listens to me though.
dam you apple why why why why why
Once an outbreak happens, let’s hope it doesn’t last long, and that there’s photos taken, and that when/if it happens, mankind learns from its mistake…
my friend just had to buy an i pad
Guys, this isn’t fake, and its definitely important. Already millions of humans don’t get enough food, and no one is artificially making it. Even Albert Einstein recognized the importance of bees, and he said that humans would only have 4 years to live if bees went extinct. This is super important. Turn off your phone.
Someone needs to take a relax pill jack haha.
The article was just being drastic about it, its just trying to keep an open mind and seeing the broad spectrum of where things could end up.
figures. apple will be the downfall of us all.
I can see now why AT&T just announced their new data plans. AT&T is trying to do a cover up by “limiting data usage” but what they are really trying to do is just slow down the process…
Im going to have to agree with jack. this is rediculous. even is the bees stopped pollinating the plants we would find some way to artificially do it.
See below.
I’m all in belief of Zombies….but this is stretching it.
Jack- the article only suggests that our modern technological advances could lead someday to the creation of zombies. Do you not believe that is possible? You think the only way the dead could rise is through natural causes – not made by man?
If course the title of the article is sensational, I’ll give you that. Clearly, iPad’s aren’t going to make the dead rise. But I stand by the substance of the article.
i totally have to agree with you matt, humans could easily come up with something to make the dead walk again
Agreed, Matt. I honestly think that the zombie plague (if it comes in our lifetime) would be caused by the manipulation of existing DNA and viruses that goes horribly wrong. This article is just pointing out that we’re taking technology to the point where creating a zombie virus is totally viable.
You hit the nail on the head!