EUPHORIA AND HORROR: ZOMBIE INCUBATORS

Our research team has often suggested that the inevitable zombie apocalypse would be the result of scientific engineering rather than a naturally occurring mutation. Most of the deadly diseases, pathogens, and viruses required to meet our definition of the modern zombie would prove fatal to an average test subject. Unfortunately, the students at Product Design Arnhem have developed a frightening new concept that would allow scientists to literally grow their abominations in an incubator; simply discarding the failed experiments in an endless search for the ultimate zombie terror. When human life means nothing, only the results matter.

The project is actually cloaked in the blanket of “humanitarianism” by making life simpler for expecting mothers and expediting surrogacy. But the cost, availability, and exclusive nature of such a device would obviously limit it to research facilities and government programs. Mad scientists around the world are already salivating at the opportunity of growing their genetic human experiments in pods. And yet, our unethical scientific progress marches ever forward!

We’ve played Resident Evil, we’ve battled the Umbrella Corporation, we’ve seen the awful experiments, and we know how this will end. Despite all of these warnings, Tech Data has posted the warm, glowing, almost celebratory video linked below. Not only does the official mission statement of this project cheer the end of natural procreation; it clearly suggests the creation and harvesting human life. Prepare for zombie experiments and behold your demise.

Imagine a future where current limits of procreation no longer exist, but where life can be created and harvested in a new way. A future where natural pregnancy is replaced by an artificial womb.

Will conventional pregnancy still be needed? And if not, what will be the consequences? Design, innovation, technology and ethics all play a part in this project that speculates on future feelings and values that identify our humanity.

Yes, they said that human life should be “created and harvested”. But there’s actually very little information about this concept available online. Despite their name, the official website for Product Design Arnhem is so poorly designed that we had to resort to second-hand articles to gather additional details. Perhaps they’re ashamed of such an abomination?

Eventually we found our way to Par-tu-ri-ent – a website so bold that it asks visitors “How far do we dare to go?” In fact, the Tech Data video currently making the rounds on social media pales in comparison to the diabolical nature of this device! Simply visit the official website to learn more about it’s true intentions. Even the scientists and medical professionals quoted there seem hesitant about the implications. Dr. Wigard Kloosterman of the University Medical Center Utrecht describes the idea as “A rollercoaster ride between euphoria and horror” while Sos Astrup (a midwife) recognizes that “Some people will find Par-tu-ri-ent unethical.”

It’s clear that such a device would be unethical, not to mention immoral and unnatural. Don’t let the purely conceptual nature of the project fool you; this is being implemented right now! Some researchers at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia have already created an artificial womb. Inside of that “womb” they placed amniotic fluid and a premature lamb fetus, which was kept alive for four weeks. Even the promotional video is extremely disturbing to watch.

Regardless of their purpose, scientists fully intend to grow human experiments in pods. Just imagine gangrene wearing down our immune system to clear the way for Ebola or rabies, maybe throw in mad cow disease, swine flu, or some deadly variation thereof; all purposefully holding back their worst elements to allow the other to take hold. Gross rotting flesh, violent tendencies, memory loss. It certainly seems like the perfect recipe for a zombie apocalypse. And now it can be safely grown in a bag of amniotic fluid connected to your smart phone.

But don’t take our word for it; simply visit the official website for Par-tu-ri-ent or do a quick online search to witness scientists and journalists cheering our demise. And don’t forget about that scary lamb fetus because it survived, and so did eight others. Maybe the Umbrella Corporation isn’t real, but their equivalents are – and they’re already growing the next batch of zombie experiments in a pod. So be prepared, because what you don’t know can eat you!