Zombie Research Society
Scientists and researchers at the biotech company Bioquark Inc. have recently received permission from the U.S. National Institutes of Health to test an experimental new technique intended to bring the dead back to life! As part of the controversial ReAnima project, the team will begin injecting brain-dead patients with a combination of stem cells and chemicals in hopes of jump-starting neural activity, and rebooting the brain itself.
In an interview with The Telegraph, CEO Ira Pastor described the endeavor as “another step towards the eventual reversal of death in our lifetime.” The very concept conjures images of the Umbrella Corporation, H. P. Lovecraft’s Re-Animator, and the zombie apocalypse!
To undertake such a complex initiative, we are combining biologic regenerative medicine tools with other existing medical devices typically used for stimulation of the central nervous system, in patients with other severe disorders of consciousness. We hope to see results within the first two to three months.
The initial phase includes twenty participants; officially certified as dead, and only kept alive via life support. If successful, the study could offer unique insights into the state of human brain death and provide new therapeutic treatments for comas, Alzheimer’s, and Parkinson’s disease. Of course, if it goes horribly wrong… we suggest a good zombie survival plan.
What sort of horrible existence awaits those resurrected from the dead? While this untested experiment could provide a number of useful tools for combating disease; studies suggest that it may also unleash a postmortem craving of latent, long-unfulfilled addictions.
For more information please check out this interview with Bioquark Inc. CEO Ira Pastor available online at The Telegraph, or read the official clinical trial application as approved by the U.S. National Institutes of Health. We’ll be sure to provide any updates when available!