Zombie Research Society
In the middle of a zombie outbreak? No worries, you’ve got this! In honor of the brand new Xbox One game Dead Rising 4, I’ve put together a list of ten tips and common items that will help you survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Now, this is only a list of things that I think you should have. Of course there are many different options, and that is up to you. But if a sudden outbreak occurs, and you don’t already have a bug out bag ready, this list may just save your life. So good luck, and remember… what you don’t know can eat you!
1. GET TO HIGH GROUND
If you find yourself in the middle of an outbreak without warning; let’s say inside an office building for example, get to high ground immediately. But be careful, because when I say “high ground” I mean high enough to survive but not be trapped. Don’t head straight to the roof since the only way out is down, and then we can bury you in a Tic-Tac box! Make sure there is only one way up that YOU can see, but ensure there’s another way down such as a fire escape. If you can get down but the Zeds can’t get up, then you’re good to go!
2. BUILD A BARRICADE
If you’re inside an office, use anything you can find to make a barricade. File cabinets, desks, bookshelves; anything to keep zombies out and you in. However, if the building has a glass front, then move your butt to another area that has no glass by the entrances. Of course, you’ll need heavy items in order for this to work. So another option is to find the maintenance closet. There are usually a number of chemicals in there which can be used to create traps and smoke screens which will allow you to move around undetected.
3. GRAB FOOD
I assume many people will be in a mall or office complex that serves food (because we are all little piggies). However if this goes down, then grab whatever you can food-wise, which will allow you to survive for a few days. You’ll need to conserve most of it for the first few days while all of this is unwinding because there will be chaos and panic. And you’ll probably have to worry more about other human beings than Zeds. But once things have died down (pun intended), you can begin carefully scavenging for other food supplies.
4. FIND WEAPONS
This is my favorite; I love weapons! It doesn’t matter what it is, I am all about it. Anyway, this is very simple: ANYTHING can be a weapon. When everything first goes down, just grab anything that might be useful. Pens, paper clips, chairs, knives, etc. If you are part of an office complex, simply find an office chair and disassemble it. The thing that we use to adjust the height is a perfect spear tip. The wheels can be placed inside of a sock and used as a primitive club. Even broken glass can be wrapped in tape or clothing and made into a knife. Finally, if you remember those old paper cutters that looked like it could take your hand off, find one and remove the cutting arm. You now have a bad ass, machete! Boom! Totally old-school! My third grade teacher would be so proud of me!
5. GRAB YOUR CELLPHONE
No, don’t try to make any calls because the networks would be clobbered. But if you can grab anything with batteries, it will help you in the long run. And if you have an Android phone, the GPS signal works off the actual satellites (not the cell towers) which will allow you to find your way around when it’s time to move. The phone can also be used as a distraction if you are trying to move away from Zeds. They love noise, and if you’re not the one making the noise, the better off you will be. Go ahead and take a few selfies while you’re out there running, I’m sure they’ll eventually make great photos for your scrapbook!
6. FIND A BATTERY
Don’t just grab any battery, get yourself a 9 volt. If you can find one of these and a piece of steel wool from any café or shop, you’ll have some of the best firestarter that I could possibly think of. After all, you’ll need to stay warm during the long nights. And if you have a secure location, feel free to start up a fire and reflect on what happened; chances are you’re going to have quite a few years to ponder your life during the zombie apocalypse.
7. GRAB A KNIFE
You’ll want to grab almost any knife that can withstand an impact and still hold up; not a cheap plastic one. This is going to be absolutely crucial to your survival considering all of the uses you’ll have for it. Most likely a knife will be your screwdriver, can opener, prybar, and best friend during the initial zombie outbreak. At least, until you can get settled.
8. GRAB A BUDDY
I know, this seems counter-intuitive. You may tell yourself that other people would only slow you down. But the psychological effects of being alone for too long are devastating. And if you have a buddy (male or female) there are a number of benefits; you can each take turns standing watch, have someone to talk to, or even watch your back while scavenging. Basically, the end of the world becomes that much more bearable. Just make sure it’s not someone you cannot stand, or maybe make sure it is. Remember, you don’t have to be the fastest person around to escape, you just have to be faster than the slowest person!
9. REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE
This is going to be important. If you’ve established a base of operations, whether inside a building or somewhere outside, the last thing you’ll want to forget is exactly where it is. If the building is large, like many of them are, then you run the risk of forgetting where you are, especially if you’ve never been to that part of the building before. But if you do forget, don’t worry; you can always find another place. And then you can have two pillow forts!
10. FIND WATER
This is crucial; if you’re in an office or mall, then find pure, bottled water and horde that stuff like it was going out of style… because it is! Yes, there will be a point when you run out of bottled water, but until that time, conserve it and figure out a way to either make water or collect it. And even though alcohol is made with water, or has water in it, don’t think that this is a good option. You will eventually die, and be hungover when it happens.