WHEN THE DEAD RISE DRINK BLEACH!

It can’t be overstated that accessing clean drinking water must be central to any worthwhile zombie survival plan. And for the purposes of this post, the operative word is: clean.  It does no good to locate a ready source of water -plugged gutter, rain bucket, toilet bowl- only to have unseen microbes incapacitate anyone brave enough to drink.

According to the World Health Organization, 3.4 million people die each year from water borne illness across the globe. Though we take clean drinking water for granted in the United States, when the dead walk you can bet that municipal sanitation services will be out the window faster than you can say, “Is that a zombie on my front porch?” Even the fresh looking water coming from a working kitchen faucet may hold sewage backup and other deadly toxic substances. So what’s the answer? Drink bleach.

Mixed in the correct ratio, unscented bleach added to water can kill any unwanted contaminates and render the source safe for human consumption. In rough terms, 1/2 tablespoon of bleach mixed to 5 gallons of clear water, or 2.5 gallons of cloudy water, should do the trick.  Stir in and let sit for thirty minutes. If the water does not have a chlorine smell when finished, add more bleach.

So the next time your buddy says that all he’s buying a double barrel shotgun and enough ammo to blow every zombie’s head off from here to Cleveland, tell him that you’re going to invest in a bottle of bleach instead and you’ll pray for him after he’s killed by diarrhea-related dehydration from drinking the tainted water in his bad-ass camouflage commando canteen.