Zombie Research Society
The California Highway Patrol recently announced that the 19-year-old responsible for triggering multiple crashes on the 15 Freeway in Temecula claimed he was being chased by zombies! Jerimiah Hartline reportedly stole a Freightliner full of strawberries Saturday evening before causing an epic amount of damage along Interstate 15 in California.
While early news reports indicated that two men may have been responsible for the theft of the big rig, CHP Officer Nathan Baer corrected that inaccuracy and released new information to the press last night; including this interesting claim:
“He was arrested at the crash scene and appeared to be in an altered state, claiming he was being chased by zombies.”
First off, drugs are bad. Please don’t get high and blame your bad life-decisions on zombies when the cops finally arrest you. Second, if zombies are actually chasing you… I’m not sure how stealing a truck full of strawberries is going to help.
Thankfully no one was killed. But suppose we give Mr. Hartline the benefit of the doubt. How could driving recklessly down the Interstate in a Freightliner do any good? This is why it’s important to be properly prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, people! From learning basic survival skills to choosing the appropriate zombie-proof vehicle, please make sure that you’re not simply a danger to yourself and others.
Well one advantage to the vehicle he stole is that if he really was being chased by zombies he COULD hole up in the trailer and eat Strawberry’s to stay alive for a while while. LOL
I think an impressive amount of drugs must have been involved here. What a nutjob. Put this clown away for a LONG time, he’s not fit for society.
Of course he could have been mentally ill too but you were there Katie and know more then I do. How did the drug test come out? Did they tell you what kind they were or are you like the rest of America and the only exercise you get is jumping to conclusions?
That’s a quick and easy answer, zombies can’t kill you if they can’t get to you. The more distance there is between you and them the better you chances for survival.
Plus Zombies are mean, I don’t think smiling politely and asking them to stop biting your limbs off is going work.
Thirdly, fight or flight? This guy picked the second one.
If I could high-five you I would.