ZOMBIE SURVIVAL HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE!

Contributing author Mark Greenman is an NRA Certified Pistol Instructor and author of The Zombie Shooting Guide: Survival Training for the Worst-Case Scenario. He’s also the editor of the online gadgets and gear blog Good-Kit.

While the modern Zombie began as a critique of mindless consumerism, the fact is, everyone loves presents. The following gift guide is a selection of some of the finest Zombie Survival Gear out there. Whether you’re looking to bolster your preparedness, or just looking for a last minute gift, there’s something here for everyone.

Guns and Weapons:

FX Verminator Extreme: While Daryl may use a crossbow, if he could he’d be sporting the FX Verminator Arrow Gun. By hand pumping up the air reservoir, you can shoot up to 42 arrows without refilling. This allows a significantly higher rate of fire than a crossbow, with much less bulk. The ideal option for those who can’t own a firearm.

Saiga SGL12-94 semiautomatic shotgun: The Saiga SGL12-94 is the world’s premier anti-zombie shotgun. Featuring an 8 round removable magazine, folding stock, and legendary AK reliability, there is no finer fighting shotgun for making dead things deader.

Glock 19 Gen 3: The Glock 19 is the ideal anti-zombie fighting pistol. Small enough to conceal, it holds 15 rounds of 9mm ammunition, and is incredibly reliable. There is a reason the G19 is the worlds most popular handgun!

LaRue Tactical OBR 18” Barrel: There are well over a thousand AR15’s to choose from, but pretty much everyone agrees that LaRue makes some of the best. I’m a fan of their PredatAR 18”, because it’s light enough for bugging out on foot, while the 18” barrel offers enough velocity for long-range zombie defense.

Knives, Tools and Every Day Carry Gear:

Waterproof Field Lighter: Whether it’s lighting up a cigarette, a campfire or a Molotov cocktail, you’ll need a reliable fire tool during the Zombie Apocalypse, and the Field Lighter is far and away the best option. It’s waterproof, wind resistant, has a built in spare fuel tank – and it’s classy as hell.

SEREPick Bogota Lock picks: There are hundreds of millions of locks in the United States, and after the Zombie Outbreak, you’re definitely going to need to know how to open them without keys. The Bogota’s are the finest, easiest to use lock picks available, and are small enough to keep in you wallet. On a non-apocalyptic note, they’re also really handy for when your drunken friends lock themselves out of the house!

Spyderco Endura 4 Wave: I’ve been collecting pocketknives since I was 4 years old, and I can say that the Endura Wave is the most versatile pocketknife in my collection. The innovative wave feature opens the knife as soon as it leaves your pocket, making it ideal for Rick style Shane shanking.

Surefire Pen: The Surefire pen is made of indestructible aircraft aluminum, with a stainless steel glass breaker on the end that can be used to escape from a vehicle or crack a Zombie’s skull. From a practical standpoint, it has a unique internal mechanism that allows you to use any ink refill in the world – which will prove incredibly useful when Staples has been overrun by the undead.

Moleskine Volant Notebook: Whether it’s writing notes to loved one’s or keeping a diary of the collapse of civilization, you’re going to want a quality notebook during the ZPAW. The Volant is the perfect size for sticking into a back pocket, and goes perfectly with the Surefire pen.

Leatherman Surge Multitool: A multitool will be invaluable in any type of emergency, and the Leatherman Surge is the biggest, strongest model on the market.

Fenix LD22 Flashlight: Whether it’s an unusually heavy snowstorm or a full on Zombie Apocalypse, you will experience a blackout at some point in your life. The Fenix LD22 is the ideal emergency flashlight because it has multiple power modes –from blindingly bright 215 lumen turbo to an extended use 3 lumen low- and uses widely available AA batteries.

Energizer AA Lithium Batteries: Expensive, but well worth the price. Energizer lithium’s weigh less than normal alkaline batteries, and last up to 9 times longer, making them the emergency battery of choice for your flashlight.

ESEE-5 Survival Knife: The Esee 5 is made of 1 pound of ¼” thick high carbon steel, rendering it virtually indestructible. Whether it’s batoning through firewood or stabbing zombies in the brain, this knife is more than up to the task.

KNIPEX Mini Bolt Cutters: Made in Germany, these little bolt cutters are perfect for cutting through fences and barbed wire.

VTAC Tomahawk: Unlike other tomahawks on the market, which are little more than Mall Ninja fantasy weapons, the VTAC Tactical Tomahawk is issued to the US military and extensively field tested. The front blade is designed to cut through wood and sheet metal, while the rear spike is designed for piercing through Kevlar helmets. This combination of cutting and piercing power makes it a useful tool and deadly melee weapon.

Lansky Knife Sharpener: Regular knife sharpeners require a lot of skill to use, but the Lansky is pretty simple, and produces a shaving sharp edge.

G-Shock Digital Watch: While you won’t need to worry about getting to work on time, you’re still going to want a watch during the Apocalypse. The 5600 model offers the same legendary durability of the G-Shock, in a thinner, retro package.

Books and Literature:

Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege: Compared to the battle of Stalingrad, the Zombie Apocalypse is for sissies. This book is an awesome testament to the power of man to endure the most extreme conditions, and emerge victorious.

Counterinsurgency Warfare: Theory and Practice: The best book on military strategy out there. Whether you need to protect against outlaw raiders, or want to go full on Governor status and start taking over territory, this book is well worth the read.

The Modern Survival Manual: Surviving the Economic Collapse: In 2001 Argentina suffered a complete economic collapse, and transformed overnight from a first world paradise into a semi-apocalyptic state of lawlessness. The author survived, and this book is loaded with practical advice that can be applied to any breakdown of society.

The 48 Laws of Power: If you aspire to leading your post-apocalyptic tribe, you need to know the 48 laws of power.

The 4-Hour Workweek: One of the keys to preparing for a Zombie Outbreak is having time and disposable income. The 4-hour workweek is the single best source of information on modern entrepreneurship and generating a simple and profitable business that will allow you to thrive now, and survive later. This book changed my life.

Day by Day Armageddon: My favorite Zombie action book. If you haven’t read it already, get it!

The Deadliest Men and More of the Deadliest Men Who Ever Lived: If you’re looking to be inspired by astounding tales of masculine badassery, there is no better source than the Deadliest Men series. Each book is broken down into about 40 little biographies  of the deadliest men in history. Some of these guys will blow your minds.

The Zombie Shooting Guide: Shameless plug! I wrote the Zombie Shooting Guide as the definitive, one stop source on firearms training for the Zombie Outbreak. If you like shooting, and you like zombies, you’ll love The ZSG.

Convict Conditioning: Physical fitness will be essential to surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, and Convict Conditioning teaches you how to get brutally strong without any equipment. I own well over 30 books on fitness and this is the best of all of them.

Preparedness Gear:

Compact Survival Cord: Each roll contains 60’ of Kevlar line, which can hold 200lbs. The rapid deployment spool makes it perfect for quickly barricading doors and stairwells to prevent zombies from following you.

Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce: What’s worse than reverting to cannibalism to survive? Doing it without hot sauce.

Siege Stove: Made in the USA by zombie fans, the Siege stove is an ultra light titanium stove that uses scraps of wood to cook pretty much anything. It’s the perfect stove for your BUGOUT bag.

Maxpedition Vulture-II Backpack: Maxpediton makes some of the toughest backpacks on the market, and the Vulture II is the perfect size for use as a BUGOUT bag.

LifeStraw Personal Water Filter: You can survive 3 weeks without food, but only 3 days without water. The Lifestraw allows you to drink water from pretty much anywhere – even right off the ground.

USB Car Charger: After the power goes out, one of the last sources left for electric power is the cigarette lighter in your car. With this dual port USB car charger, you can charge your Kindle and a pack of AA batteries while driving on supply runs.

Eneloop USB AA Batteries: Sanyo makes the best rechargeable batteries. Combined with you USB car charger, this will ensure that you always have a working flashlight.

Baby Wipes: Baby wipes are the Swiss Army Knife of cleanliness. You can use them for personal hygiene, as a sponge bath, for wiping blood off your white Nikes – they even work for cleaning firearms. Baby Wipes will be worth their weight in gold during the Zombie Apocalypse, so buy as many as you can now.

Klean Kanteen: I’ve owned mine for 6 years now and it just keeps going and going. Unlike a plastic or aluminum bottle, the stainless steel Kleen Kanteen can be placed in a fire to boil water, which could save your life.

GoFit Chin-Up Bar: Install a pull-up bar in the door leading into your bathroom, and every time you enter and exit do at least 1 pull-up. This greasing the glove training will rapidly increase the number of pull-ups you can do – making you better prepared for climbing over fences during the ZPAW.

Aerobie AeroPress Coffee Maker: Even in the Apacalypse, you’re going to want coffee. The Aerobie Aeropress is widely considered to be the best coffee maker available. It also doesn’t use any electricity, and is small enough to fit in you bag.

Military Energy Gum: When there’s no time for coffee, this Military grade gum will provide you with 100mg of caffeine per piece. That makes it ideal for staying awake on guard duty.

Gorilla Glue: Duct Tape can fix pretty much everything, but traditional rolls take up a lot of space. The Gorilla Handy roll gives you 30 feet of extra strong Gorilla Tape, in a package small enough to fit in your pocket.

Emergency Bivvy Bag: Ideally you want a full size sleeping bag. But if you need to travel light, the Adventure Medical Kits Bivvy bag is a good option. While it won’t be the most comfortable night’s sleep, it will keep you from freezing to death.

Gas Siphon: The gas siphon is perfect for keeping in your car in case you run out of fuel. By using the hand pump, you don’t need to worry about sucking gasoline into your mouth – which sucks.

Binchotan Charcoal Toothbrush: Taking care of your teeth is especially important during the Zombie Apocalypse. Because without a dentist, the only way to fix your tooth ache is with a pair of pliers. This toothbrush has Binchotan charcoal mixed in with the bristles, which helps prevent bacteria from growing.

Clothing and Protection:

Turtleskin Full Coverage Kevlar Gloves: Turtleskin gloves provide complete Kevlar coverage for your hands. Designed to stop AIDS filled heroin needles, they are more than capable of blocking a Zombie Bite to your hands.

Turtleskin Wrist Sleeves: Like the gloves, these Turtleskin wrist sleeves protect one of the most vulnerable parts of your body during a Zombie attack.

Firehose Logger Pants: Made out of the same heavy duty canvas used in fire hoses, Duluth Firehose Pants are legendary for their extreme toughness – one customer reported them stopping the tusk of a wild boar. These Logger pants are specially designed with a double layer of firehose canvas from the shin to waist, offering increased resistance to Zombie bites.

Firehose Field Jacket: Made of the same incredibly tough fire hose material as the pants, the Field Jacket protects the arms and chest from Zombie bites, while the numerous large pockets are ideal for storing ammunition and gear.

Palladium Pampa Boots: Palladium boots are tough, yet extremely lightweight and comfortable. Very good for walking long distances, or running away from a pack of Zombies.

Merry Christmas Everyone!