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MIAMI VICTIM SPEAKS: NOT A ZOMBIE

MIAMI VICTIM SPEAKS: NOT A ZOMBIE

When Ronald Poppo was attacked and partially cannibalized in late May, 2012 by a crazed man later dubbed the Miami Zombie, we got a ton of requests to comment on whether that event marked the start of the zombie apocalypse. Our answer was always the same:

As long as the victim doesn’t sit up in his hospital bed and start moaning “Brains…” and trying to eat his doctors, we’re all okay.

Now Poppo is speaking with police investigators and the press, proving once and for all that the Miami Zombie incident was an isolated event, and no cause for panic. You can officially put down your bug-out bag and shotgun.

In fact Poppo is not only not a zombie, but he is remarkably calm for someone who just had his entire face and both eyeballs eaten out.

Here’s the recent interview from Miami’s CBS 4:

3 comments

  1. Could’ve been faked to keep the media and public at bay since it was only a voice recording but that could just be because of his disfigurement. Something just seems a little fishy. Poppo has no emotions during the interview and the “zombie” in question had nothing in his system other than marijuana which I highly doubt is the cause of the attack along with the whole movement to get bath salts off the streets, the whole thing just seems too politically motivated. Who knows, maybe Eugene just cracked or had some new untraceable drug in his system? I’m still always on alert for other similar stories or abundant missing person cases and widespread rioting which are other news stories that could foreshadow a coming undead pandemic.

  2. I’m still gonna keep a close eye on the news, just in case it starts somewhere else.

  3. That guy at the end is HUGE.

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