WEAPONS: THE NON-LETHAL OPTION
Probably the most overlooked threat when planning for the coming zombie pandemic is the human threat.
It’s one thing to be prepared to take out the legion of undead at your door, but what about a member of your group who’s losing his marbles? What about someone who presents himself as a friend, but then wants to take your food and water, leaving you stranded on the side of the road? Johnny Law isn’t going to be around to make sure that justice is served, of that much you can be sure.
One option for human threat mitigation is a stun gun. Most are small, powerful and inexpensive. Here’s what our friends over at Personal Arms have to say about it:
“A short blast from this personal protection device will give anyone silly enough to attack you an exclusive muscle massage that will render them incapable of managing much more than drooling for about five to ten minutes.”
Delivering up to 1 million volts, and the size of a small garage door opener, stun guns often come with a lifetime guaranteed lithium battery. Put one on your hip in a disaster and leave it there, unnoticed. When problems arises, you have a nonlethal option that won’t waste precious ammunition needed to deal with threats of the flesh-eating variety.
Remember, it’s not just the zombies you have to worry about.
SAFEST PUBLIC SPACE IN ANY CITY
Experts have long known that population density is a major factor in evaluating a person’s risk of falling victim to crime, disease, and man-made disasters, but it is also the leading indicator of zombie survivability. But more than half of the world’s population lives in cities, and the percentage continues to increase.
According to the Population Reference Bureau, before 2000 there were only three urban areas in the world with a population of more than 10 million: Mexico City, New York, and Tokyo. As of 2010, at least thirteen additional cities have reached that size, and in the next ten years, the number of megacities worldwide is expected to double. Add to that another 381 metro areas with a population greater than 1 million, and it’s easy to see that the global community is crowding dangerously together.
So where should you go if you’re caught outside in an urban environment with zombies roaming the streets? Find the spot with the lowest population density in any city: the cemetery. Others will instinctively run to parks, transit stations, or other large public spaces, but where people go zombies go. Nobody ever thinks to head to the cemetery, in good times or bad. And you want to be as close to nobody as humanly possible.
An important point to add is that contrary to popular belief, zombies don’t rise from graves. It’s simply not possible. If you were buried inside a covered box under six feet of dirt, you would not be able to claw your way out no matter how much time you had on your hands. Zombies, being similar to humans in physical ability, are in the same boat. Not to mention the issues of advanced decay over time.
See you at the cemetery!
AUTHOR JOE McKINNEY GUEST POST
Joe McKinney’s zombie novel Apocalypse of the Dead is the January/February selection of the ZRS Book Club. We’ll be posting an exclusive interview with him right here next week, and then he’ll do a live twitter chat to answer all your questions early next month. In the meantime, tell us some questions we need to ask him in the comments section below. And then check out this guest posting from McKinney himself about what it takes to survive a real zombie outbreak:
THE SURVIVOR TYPE
So, the door is barricaded. The windows are blocked by whatever scraps you could cannibalize from the furniture. Perhaps you’re even armed. Things look bleak, I know, but don’t be afraid. This is actually a time for celebration. After all, think how close you came to being one of that dead horde moaning and pawing at your front door. You made it! You’re alive!
But now it’s starting to sink in, isn’t it? This new world overrun with zombies is going to be a scary one, and your continued survival is going to be hard. At times, it might even seem impossible. Or worse, when you start to think of all the loved ones you’ve lost, your continued existence might even seem pointless. That’s the real danger right there, the pointlessness of it all. How, and why, should you go on living when everything you care about is gone?
You’ve got some soul searching ahead of you, to be sure. Can I give you all the answers? No, of course not. What would your life be worth, after all, if somebody could answer all the hard questions for you? But I can help. I can point you in the right direction. And to that end, I’m sharing my three rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse.
1) Think of yourself as a survivor
No matter what Zombieland has to say on the subject, rule #1 is NOT cardio. Rule #1 is to think of yourself as a survivor, as opposed to a victim. Physicality has very little to do with survival, actually. Sure, it helps. But it isn’t a deal-breaker. Your state of mind is, though. State of mind is where you live or die, because a strong will and a tenacious love for life creates the means for continued survival. Without that, cardio will do little more than give you a beautiful corpse.
2) Make solutions your business
Rather than wallowing in your misery for all that’s been taken from you, begin to build the world anew. Fortify yourself and those lucky enough to take shelter with you. Play defense for as long as you have to, but don’t make defense your survival strategy. Take the offensive by establishing a steady and reliable source of supplies. Teach yourself, and others, the skills you need to know to survive. And now that Wikipedia is finally gone, rediscover the joys of sifting through the library stacks. Books on everything from building a fire to planting a garden to splinting a broken bone await. Now is the time to study, and the time to get the job done.
3) Imagine the world ahead
Above all else, you need a clear picture in your mind of what the world will look like in the future. Motorcycle cops are taught during evasive driving training that the bike will go where they look. In other words, if you’re looking at that chair in the middle of the road, chances are you’re going to hit that chair in the road. The same is true with surviving the zombie apocalypse. If you imagine misery, hardship and death in your future, guess what you’re going to find. The world will become what you imagine it to be. Just make sure when you imagine the future, you imagine yourself in it.
Good luck!
TOP SIX THINGS YOU MUST DO IN 2012
It’s a new year, and according to the Mayans 2012 could be the end of the line for us all. But even if you don’t buy what the doomsday nuts are selling, it’s still a great time to get more serious about your interest in zombies. To that end, we’ve put together a top six list of things you should do this year to get up to speed with your zombie knowledge and survival strategy. In order of importance from least to most, here are your zombie new years resolutions:
#6) KNOW YOUR SURROUNDINGS
All zombie survival is local. If your strategy involves traveling vast distances in hopes of reaching a place you’ve never been and have no connection to, get a new plan. When faced with a catastrophic zombie outbreak, or any other large-scale natural of man made disaster, you will likely be forced to do the best you can with what you have in the place you are.
#5) READ A BOOK
We are living in the golden age of zombie literature. A decade ago you’d be hard-pressed to find a single modern zombie book in any major chain, or even online. People weren’t writing them very often, and more importantly publishers weren’t buying them. Take advantage of the current boon by reading a new work of zombie fiction or nonfiction today!
#4) KEEP IT REAL
Forget about constructing a wild and crazy zombie survival plan that involves vehicles you don’t own, weapons you’ve never even held, and shelters you’ve read about on the interwebs. Looting a gun shop will get you shot in the face. Steeling an armored truck is a complete waste of time. And that off-shore oil rig might as well be on the moon.
#3) LEARN THE HISTORY
Any self-respecting zombie fan should understand the roots of the current craze. Did you know that the modern flesh-eating zombie evolved from vampires, not from the Haitian voodoo tradition? Did you know that zombies didn’t eat brains before 1985, and still don’t in most zombie movies? The history of the modern zombie is rich, and well worth looking into.
#2) JOIN THE FIGHT
Whether you’re into zombie survival, zombie science, zombie movies, or just having fun with the undead, there are several worthwhile zombie organizations to meet your needs. New clubs are forming every day, so look around and get involved. Zombies seem to always find strength in numbers, and so should you!
#1) SECURE DRINKING WATER
The steps it takes to survive the aftermath of a large-scale zombie outbreak are much the same as those needed to survive any prolonged catastrophic natural or man made disaster. And nothing is more vital to human survival than having access to a near-constant supply of clean drinking water. Worry about water first, or you may be the first to go when the dead rise.
What are some other zombie-related things we should all be doing in 2012? Tell us in the comments section below.
