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WORST ZOMBIE SHOW EVER

Though the docu-spoof zombie series, Death Valley, premiered on MTV just last night, it wasted no time solidifying its position as the worst zombie show ever made.  With used-up jokes and a repetitive plot, Valley delivers nothing of value to the zombie sub-genre.  In short, it’s total crap.

Oh, but the show just isn’t about zombies, because no doubt the bonehead executives at MTV wanted to hedge their bets.  Here’s a snippet of the uninspired, contrived dialogue that is passed off as witty banter:

“One year ago today zombies began besmirching our fine community.  That’s right, I said besmirching.  And with them came vampires and werewolves.”

Why vampires and werewolves?  Who knows?  Who cares?  Throw it up on the screen and see if the little kiddies are brain dead enough to toon in!

And how’s this for repetitive plot: In one sequence two unprepared cops raid a motel room and easily subdue a weak vampire, only to be surprised by a much stronger, faster vampire in the back bathroom.  That is quickly followed by two other unprepared cops raiding a doughnut shop and easily subduing a weak zombie, only to be surprised by a much stronger, faster zombie in the back storage room.  Nice work, writers.  You should be proud…

Our sincere hope for Death Valley is that it gets canceled immediately.  Anything short of that risks permanently “besmirching” the landscape of zombie entertainment that we all love so much.

11 comments

  1. it could be soooo much better but vampires and werewolves really now…

  2. Reminds me of Reno 911..I like it

  3. I strongly disagree with your critique. The show is not intended to be realistic or a docu-drama. It’s supposed to be funny. Which, if you had actually watched it for entertainment, you would have known. It’s a play on COPS. Does COPS tell where crime originated? No. They just say, “We have murderers, drug dealers, and hookers.” It’s a light hearted comedy, and it’s obviously not meant for you.

    • I thought this was going to be a mockumentary, but then they ruined that approach by using dramatic angles not obtained by a “trailing” camera operator. One moment, the footage is captured by a following or onlooking camera operator, but then it suddenly isn’t.

      That doesn’t mix well for me, and that is one reason why I can say that they dropped the ball on playing off of COPS.

  4. I haven’t watched MTV since it stopped being MUSIC television but i’m a sucker for anything Zombie. I thought it was ok, reminded me of Reno 911 which i liked. Don’t know how many episodes i’ll make it thru, but I’m giving it a shot. Walking Dead on amc is really good 2 for you zombie fans out there…

  5. I looked it up and found out besmirching is a real word in the English language. That’s reason enough to leave the country. Not only is it a real word but somebody used it. In a sentence!

    It’s just wrong.

    And…what the hell happened to MTV? Does anyone else remember when it was cooler?

    • I remember actually staying home to watch “Head Banger’s Ball”, and if and when MTV would show a movie, it would be music related.

  6. Yeah, I heard this is terrible.

  7. Saddly, if it’s on MTV, it’ll last forever. Remember, these are the same souless bastards that gave us “Jersey Shore”

  8. Take away the blasphemy and a few inconsistencies with traditional monster lore and I thought the show was hysterical! Hopefully it doesn’t degrade into the usual MTV soft porn. It’s no Shawn of the Dead, but I was laughing out loud. Choco-Taco anyone? OK, maybe not this guy.

  9. I swear the Zombie genre is getting completely out of hand. Zombie stories should only feature zombies, if it deals with the apocalypse. But vampires and werewolves, did Stephanie Meyer write the script, are the vampires going to sparkle, this is horse manure people are trying to get us to swallow. American entertainment is at an all time low, look at ugly americans, ‘gumball’ regular show, and Jersey Shore. I would rather live in London at the moment, at least the riot offer some form of entertainsment.

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