Famed early 20th Century author Franz Kafka is known for creating absurdly nightmarish worlds in which everything seems to be in balance at first, but then the awful truth is revealed with disastrous results. Kafka once observed:

“Hiding places are innumerable. Escape is only one. But possibilities of escape, again, are as many as hiding places.”

To us it seems Kafka couldn’t be more on the money when it comes to zombie survival. His quote calls to mind two critical questions likely to crop up when the dead rise to eat the living.

  1. Has an initial zombie shelter been chosen that allows for multiple fast exit strategies?
  2. Faced with a whole range of potentially workable escape plans, has the most viable course of action been chosen?

According to Hollywood, hiding out in a shopping mall seems like a pretty good idea.

There is food, water, and protection from the zombies outside (all debatable, but I will allow these assumptions for the sake of argument). But what about twelve weeks down the road, twelve months, or even twelve years? The coming zombie plague may not last a cinematic ninety minutes, and by the time the hiding spot has worn out its use, you could be surrounded by a much greater threat than was there when you first arrived.

There may seem to be an inherent flaw in giving up long-term safety (escape) for short-term comfort (hiding).  But imagine how upset you’d be if you allowed yourself to linger in relative safety while thousands of zombies slowly collected outside your door, waiting for the eventual day where you had to open up–because that day always comes.

Simply put, two of the greatest powers of the zombie are in its number and its patience.  The best survival plans must focus on counteracting both of these elements.

Remember what Kafka said. You can hide pretty much anywhere, but you might only have one true shot at escape.


  1. im not telling u my name weirdo

    I like the babys in all but ur crazy wen u say that zombies r comeing

  2. In response to Ocks: you’d eventually run out of ammunition on top of your roof, and how could you kill zombies with a blunt weapon when you’re barricaded inside? Open a window? Moreover, if you started tearing up floor boards to dig down, instead of finding dirt you’d find a crawl space filled with zombies that squeezed in there when they heard you making all that ruckus. If there weren’t zombies in your crawl space you’d still have to drill through the concrete foundation of your house to reach dirt. Trying to eliminate zombie predators is still a great idea, just difficult to pull off in practice.

    • On the roof, fill a sturdy container with sand, or use other heavy objects. Tie to best available cord or chain, drop on heads and pull back up. Lure Zombies to drop point if necessary.

  3. In my opinion it would be the responsibility of every “good” living person to simply eradicate every zombie that comes to your hiding place. Lets say you are hiding inside your house, after you barricade the doors and windows it would be your duty as well as for you own benefit to kill the zombies from the roof of your house any way you can. Basically, dont allow them to multiply. Keep killing them everyday. Use a sharp thrusting weapon or a heavy blunt weapon and rain death on the tops of their heads from a safe position. Killing them also ensures they wont harm other living people in the area. I imagine myself tearing up the floor near the windows of my house and shoveling dirt to make a heavy barricade of dirt and furniture. I cant see myself just hunkering down and doing nothing. I would stay busy, reinforcing my stronghold as well as dealing with the growing number of dead would be an every day job if I wanted to survive.

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