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INSOMNIAC ZOMBIES STAY DUMB

A new study from Harvard University strongly suggests that sleep enhances memory and learning in  humans, and this finding has major implications for zombie research.  Though one existing theory argues that zombies also sleep, it’s generally believed that the undead never actually rest in their constant search for fresh meat.  Therefore, a zombie’s inability to develop new skills may have much more to do with its insomnia than its potential to learn.

Harvard study coauthor, Robert Stickgold, explains:

“I was startled by this finding. Task-related dreams  get triggered by the sleeping brain’s attempt to consolidate challenging new information and to figure out how to use it.”

As previously discussed, zombies must possess some level of memory and learning to navigate through the world.  Believing that a zombie can’t learn anything is the same as believing that it can’t cross a street it’s never seen, or enter a new building.  Making the basic choices needed to move about requires constant low-level learning.  But if zombies don’t sleep at all, then their ability to collect data and cognitively advance may be shot.

By endlessly hunting humans, the undead are essentially robbing themselves of the chance to become even deadlier hunters.  So if you ever see a zombie nodding off for a quick nap, you might want to think about waking it up.  A sleeping zombie is a learning zombie, and nobody wants that.

8 comments

  1. That explains why so many zombies in walking dead become “Lurkers”, just sit or lie around. They eat till what remains of their digestive systems are turgid, then sit and permit what remains of their brains to flutter to “life” with Zombie Dreams.

    “Send more Paramedics.”

  2. Bowie Knife to the skull, enough said.

  3. Wouldn’t zombies sleep during the day/night so if they were killed at daytime they’d sleep during the night.

  4. haha, gives a whole new meaning to “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

  5. Well, if you see a zombie nodding of, wouldn’t it be better to just blow its head off with a shotgun? If they go to sleep, that would make them vulnerable, don’t you think?

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