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"UNDEAD" ANIMAL DISCOVERED

Skeptics often point to the widely held belief that zombies don’t breathe as proof of their impossibility.  They note that in all of human history, no creature has been found that didn’t rely on oxygen to function.  But this argument has just been dealt a crushing blow by researchers from Italy’s Polytechnic University, and their discovery of the first ever oxygen-free animal.

Though some types of bacteria and other single-celled organisms can live without oxygen, it was previously believed that nothing as complex as this newly discovered species, Loricifera, could possibly exist on earth.  Lead Researcher, Roberto Danovaro, points out the importance of his team’s find:

“The discovery of these life forms opens new perspectives for the study of all life.”

While every other animal converts oxygen and nutrients into chemical energy for survival, Loricifera get their considerable energy by internally creating molecular hydrogen.

If the infectious agents behind zombiism function in a similar manner, then the undead body would be freed of its dependence on a constant flow of oxygen after reanimation.  This process would also explain why zombies don’t need a beating heart to pump blood throughout the system.

Clearly there are many differences between small marine animals and the walking dead, but this discovery may well be the next in a long series of scientic findings that point to the inevitable zombie pandemic.

8 comments

  1. Well there is a bit of a flaw in that in my opinion, as far as the necessity to pump blood is concerned. Because while it’s true the the controlling pathogen may not require oxygen, the other cells of the human body do, like those required for movement.

  2. Zombie time! 😀

  3. If the zombie “infection” was actually more of a symbiotic relationship where small complex organisms such as these, yet parasitic in nature, are the origin as opposed to the idea of a simple bacterial or viral strain being the active organism, all of which require our preconceived notion of converting oxygen for energy. These creatures with their “internally creating molecular hydrogen” open whole new concepts in the field of zombie research and speculation.

  4. Wouldn’t the zombies be more flamable? burning zombies may work if this is right

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