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PREP A DIRT BIKE FOR THE ZOMBIE OUTBREAK

It’s finally happened, as you always knew it would. Whether it’s by mutation or virus or a biological experiment gone horribly wrong, the source is irrelevant. What matters now is that the dead have risen and the zombie apocalypse has begun. Ideally, you are prepared. You’ve planned ahead and are ready to defend yourself and your loved ones no matter what. But on the off-chance you haven’t, what can you possibly do to begin preparing for the inevitable day when life and death must battle for ownership of the earth?

Zombie Apocalypse: Make Sure You’re Prepared

Some of the things you need to prepare are common sense. Food… check. Water… check. Machete… check. But one thing that is often overlooked can make the difference between survival and undeath: transportation. But what kind of transportation do you go with? Sports cars are great for speed and distance. But unless you are friends with James Bond, their defensive capabilities can be inadequate. Hummers and tanks are ideal for protection and battle, but are often lacking in speed and maneuverability. Not to mention that we haven’t seen a tank for sale on Craigslist in a while.

No, what you need is a bike. But not just any bike — a dirt bike. Something big, durable and reliable that can easily be adapted to cover any defensive needs that you might have.

Defense:

Companies like Cut 2 Size Metals allow you to design and shape armor pieces that can easily attach to your motorcycle, giving you protection without sacrificing speed or maneuverability. If you are especially crafty and know a few good metal workers, you can design the metal plates so they not only provide increased defensive capabilities but also allow your bike to be used as a weapon if the need ever arises.

Offense:

You will need weapons. Lots of weapons. Thankfully, you can trick your bike out with multiple options to handle whatever may come across your path. There are many ways to add weapons to your dirt bike without losing the advantages of speed and agility. You can also attach holsters and pockets to the sides and back of the bike to hold a myriad of other weaponry — everything from swords to guns to grenades. Another possibility is to add a side car. This gives you the option of having a partner who can focus on the attack and defense while you worry about driving. This can be a great option, because if you think driving while eating is difficult… just imagine driving while fending off zombies!

Preparation:

Make sure you are ready for everything that can happen while on your motorcycle. Fighting in a zombie apocalypse can result in a lot of wear and tear to your bike and its components. Keep a stockpile of dirt bike parts from a trusted store like MotoSport so you can last in the fight long after everyone else has fallen. Odds are that Pep Boys and their competitors aren’t going to be around long after the war begins, so make sure you are ready with everything from filters to gears and chains. And don’t forget the decals and graphics. There’s no need to look bad while you are saving your family and friends!

2 comments

  1. This could potentially work. But I would still rather be “INSIDE” something. You come across a horde in a hummer, you can just run them over. The same is not true for a bike.

    Sure, the roads my be inaccessible because of all the abandoned cars and a bike would surely come in handy to get in between and out of such an area, but honestly if you have a 4 wheel drive you could just drive off the side of the road and around.

    If you can put defensive and offensive capabilities on a bike, imagine what you could do with a truck or hummer.

    Bullet proof windows, turrets, grenade launchers, land mine dropper, smoke cover, Sword axles, etc…

    You are not only protected from the zombies, but the elements. You could even have a TV and gaming system up in that bitch just in case gunning down and running over zombies gets boring.

    • Joshua Wiebelhaus

      Going around cars on the road might not be possible either it would be doubtful that you would be the only one to think of trying that and people could have blocked even going off the road. Your right that you need protection and carry stuff is another issue. The best strategy for coming across a zombie hoard is probably to head in the opposite direction even if you had a tank why risk it? Leave crushing zombies to the movies and books and focus on seeing as few zombies as possible.

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