As Halloween quickly approaches, horror fans across the country are scrambling to find the perfect costume! And in a desperate attempt to cash in on the current zombie craze, retailers are crowding their shelves with a horrific amount of truly awful zombie-related gear. From questionable children’s apparel to undead food items; here are five of this year’s worst zombie costumes!
Okay, let’s just get this out of the way; The Walking Dead is not a children’s program! Sure you might think it’s funny to dress your kid up as a crazy, suicidal forty-year old with a five o’clock shadow. And you might even score some “cool parenting” points from your friends. But honestly, what kid is asking to be boring old Rick Grimes for Halloween… especially when there’s a cool zombie version of this same costume available?
Apparently the Paper Magic Group has a collection of Punk Rawk and Rocker zombie costumes… but a zombie rapper? Is there some sort of reference that I’m missing here? You get a zombie mask with dreadlocks and a T-shirt that says “Rap Is Undead.” But, despite the picture, there’s no mention of a gold chain or microphone. I suppose that’s why Amazon has this costume listed for fifty-one cents.
Is it in bad taste to dress up as one of the most beloved presidents on the fiftieth anniversary of his assassination? Maybe not, but this mask is still pretty horrible. It doesn’t really even look like Kennedy. And, despite a few blood splatters, there’s not much that says “zombie.” If you’re trying to be offensive, might as well go the whole nine yards and throw in a gruesome bullet hole and exit wound. Bonus points if you wear a Misfits shirt!
There’s also a pretty horrible zombie hotdog costume available, but this one wins for its total randomness. At least a hotdog was made from the parts of living creatures at one point! Plus, the fact that this zombie banana costume comes in a plus size is hilarious. I imagine anyone wearing it would look more like a misshapen cantaloupe or something.
Making fun of hipsters is almost as lame as hipsters themselves these days… almost. The layers of meta in this zombie costume are baffling. Unless you walk around with a soy latte and a laptop, I imagine people will think that you’re some sort of Norwegian lumberjack. So you’d better be ready to explain yourself or at least hand out Pitchfork stickers all night if you pick up this horrible Halloween costume!