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DON’T STICK YOUR NECK OUT!

By 1LT Chris Post

Because it’s generally accepted that zombies don’t possess superhuman strength, full body armor likely won’t be necessary to protect yourself in the coming undead plague. Still, certain protective equipment could play a key roll in keeping you alive and free from deadly bites or blood spatter.

Serious zombie survivalists should consider stocking the specialized throat guard used by goalies in ice hockey. Given the limitations of the zombie jaw, the most likely bite locations will be a potential victim’s arms or neck.

A jacket made of a solid weave material, or something heavier like leather, would be sufficient to repel a bite attack on the the arms, but most garments are open at the throat. The soccer neck guard would provide critical protection in this area.

The neck guards come in a variety of configurations, but the best models fasten completely around the neck and also extend to provide additional protection to the clavicles. Clavicle protection is something to think about, especially since a broken clavicle will essentially immobilize the arm at that side of the body.

In the event that you find yourself in a zombie infested area and you don’t have a commercial neck guard, you can still do a few things to help yourself out. First, fasten your shirt and jacket as high up on the neck as they will go. A scarf or extra shirt tied around your neck will also provide some additional protection.

If you’re wearing a hooded  sweatshirt, put the hood up and wrap the neck with duct tape. You may not look very fashionable, but you will be considerably safer.

8 comments

  1. how much of your neck does it protect?

  2. I’m a fencing coach and I often thought to myself…if there’s a zombie apocolypse, I’m wearing my fencing uniform under my regular clothing. I figure most bites happen on the arms and necks and that’s precisely what fencing uniforms cover, and they’re meant to be puncture resistant.

    High end fencing gear (for just a jacket) can run up to $350 dollars. The materials is puncture resistant up to 800N. Naturally, they’re highly breathable, moveable and light. The have pants as well (but not full length), but they can fit underneath regular pants. We also have an additional half jacket that goes underneath our regular jacket to further protect us.

    If i know I’m in a zombie zone, I’d have my fencing mask on. Not only does this further cover my face and neck, the mask is even more protective. It’s up to 1600N puncture resistant. I don’t have to worry about my face shield fogging up or shattering.

    My zombie survival wear will include my fencing uniform. What do you think?

  3. If there really is a zombie outbreak, we won’t know what to expect. I’d assume the worse with the zombies being strong, fast, and mildly smart..
    But even with super strength I find it will be extremely hard to bite through something like that neck guard. I’m considering buying just for everyday use actually, my neck feels so vulnerable sometimes…

  4. you honestly don”t need much. i got a polyester running hoodie form some sports store for like 50 dollars and my dog cant bite threw it. then a jacket over it if it’s cold, win for me. Then jeans should suffice. Honestly, teeth can’t penetrate much, i know.

  5. Huh, well, at least with the hoodie the worst thing you’ll have to worry about will be George Zimmerman.

    I like the very simple idea from WWZ – shark suits. Very simple, relatively easy to find, all things considered, and once it’s on, it’s pretty much full protection from head to toe. Some combat boots and armored gloves, such as the ones used for mountain biking or paintball will have you well set. Then you just figure out something for your head – a modified motorcycle helmet should do the trick.

  6. Hockey goalie throat protector, Goalie mask with cage replaced by oakley lens material, baseball catcher chest protector and shin pads.

  7. Not a bad idea, I’ll wear one under my NBC suit.

  8. Harry whitehead

    Looks awesome I want one

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